


Too Soon and Not Soon Enough

by hufflepirate



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Crying, Eavesdropping, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Gen, Hugs, Hurt/Comfort, Post-Season/Series 02, Remix, Surveillance, Team as Family
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-15
Updated: 2017-08-15
Packaged: 2018-12-15 12:31:26
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,506
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11806053
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hufflepirate/pseuds/hufflepirate
Summary: Remix of oldmythologies's Lost in the Fog, which is AWESOME and should probably be read first.Shiro is gone, and none of the remaining paladins know what to do about it.  When the rest of the team visits Black to talk to Shiro, Pidge listens in, but can't bring herself to face the lion - or the place where Shiro vanished.  Not until she's ready to bring him home.





	Too Soon and Not Soon Enough

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [Lost in the Fog](https://archiveofourown.org/works/10625883) by [oldmythologies](https://archiveofourown.org/users/oldmythologies/pseuds/oldmythologies). 



> Written for the VLD Fanfiction Remix
> 
> ALL ITALICIZED DIALOGUE IS FROM OLDMYTHOLOGIES'S ORIGINAL FIC. Which you should definitely go read first. It is here: http://archiveofourown.org/works/10625883

Pidge forced her eyes to stay open. Ever since Shiro disappeared, she hadn't been sleeping well, or much, or sometimes at all. Everything was too much of a mess, and it hurt too much to miss him, on top of her father and brother.

She knew she should go to bed, but even with exhaustion pulling at every limb, it was too soon. As she laid down her mind would be full of all the things she hadn't tried yet to find them - and all the things she was afraid might be happening to them while she was still out here looking. There was too much, and she could never hold it all, and then she'd be back up anyway, looking for something to do. She might as well keep waiting it out until she _had_ to go to bed, or fall asleep in her chair.

Taking a deep breath, she reached for her tablet and pulled up her surveillance feeds. She'd put a camera in Black's hangar, and a few more in the pod bay and the med bay. She knew life wouldn't give Shiro back as easily as it had taken him away, but - there was a chance. A slight, implausible, _ridiculous_ chance that he might come back the same way he'd left. That instead of vanishing into nowhere he would suddenly just _appear_.

She flipped listlessly between the camera feeds, too tired to do anything more productive.

Shiro wasn't there. He wasn't coming in the pod bay doors. He wasn't secretly in the med bay, in a healing pod. He wasn't in his lion. He wasn't in his lion. He wasn't in his lion. She knew, vaguely, that she'd meant to switch between the cameras, but something about Black was mesmerizing, sometimes, even over the camera. The lion had _presence_ Pidge could almost feel though the screen, and any time she thought about actually going into the hangar, even _imagining_ that presence seemed like too much.

Shiro wasn't in the hangar - but suddenly, Lance was. Pidge reached automatically over to switch on the sound as Lance walked up to the lion.

Lance paused by Black's face, taking a moment to lean his hands against the metal and press his forehead against her nose. Then he walked up and into the cockpit, and Pidge closed her eyes. She couldn't even imagine. Shiro was gone enough out here, without revisiting the place he'd vanished from or the black bayard still sitting, abandoned, in its port. Shiro was gone enough without having to face Black missing him, too.

" _Hey Shiro_ , _it's been a while_."

Whoops. That sounded private. Maybe she shouldn't have turned on the sound. She raised her hand to turn it back off, but then he said, " _I hope you know that we haven’t stopped looking for you,"_ and her hand stopped.

" _Everyone’s a mess without you."_ That was true. Would Shiro want to know that? Would _she_ want Shiro to know? " _It's kind of funny, really_."

Lance paused, and Pidge told herself to stop listening in. She shouldn't do it. It was wrong. It was eavesdropping. She wasn't too tired to hit the mute button. She should hit the mute button. But - he was talking to Shiro. And Shiro wasn't there to hear.   So maybe somebody should. She lowered her hand again, slowly.

" _Well, it would be funny if you weren’t gone. I hope you know how much we miss you."_

She was "we." _She_ missed him.

" _I miss you a whole lot."_ Yes.

" _It's not nearly as fun to mess up when you’re not there to yell at me."_ No.

" _Last time I hit on Allura, it was like the weirdest thing ever_ _."_ A pang of sadness ran through Pidge, and she thought, again, that she should turn off the mike. Lance kept talking, telling Shiro the whole story, and all she could think about was the fact that he shouldn't have had to tell it. Shiro should have been there. Shiro should _be_ here.

 _"No one yelled at me and it was just so weird._ _Like, in that moment of silence afterwards we were all waiting for it and it really killed the mood to think about what we were waiting for, y’know? It’s ‘cause you weren’t there and it really sucks."_

She couldn't do this. She couldn't keep listening. It was as bad as looking at Black. It was as bad as thinking about her mother, sitting home alone with their dog. It was as bad as standing outside the hangar, knowing he wasn't there and knowing she couldn't make herself go in, and knowing if she did, it would be too much to take.

She turned off the sound, quickly, before she could change her mind, and squeezed her eyes shut tight. Shiro was coming back. He _had_ to be. He was going to find them. Or they were going to find him.

Shiro felt closer to them than Matt and her father were. It was like he was right there, like he _had_ to be _right there_ , but he wasn't, and he wasn't, and she opened her eyes again and dragged herself to her feet to make one more round of the Castle before she tried to sleep.

* * *

Breakfast was the most important meal of the day, and Hunk hated it.

Pidge always stumbled in at the last minute, looking like death warmed over until she'd eaten enough to start talking about her to-do list for finding Shiro. Keith came in sweaty from training, already looking haunted, and sometimes argued her away from the quest for Shiro because they had other things to do. He got a wrinkle between his eyes every time, like it hurt him to do it, but he was determined to be a good leader. Lance clowned around, trying to keep everyone's spirits up, but none of the jokes hit right, and sometimes that was worst of all.

Hunk was trying to convince himself that making real breakfast, instead of food goo, was going to help. He'd been trying to convince himself of it all week. It hadn't worked, but he was sure he'd find the right thing eventually. He had to. Everybody was hurting, and he wasn't sure what else to do.

In the kitchen, he took a deep breath, closing his eyes to center himself. Then he picked up the skillet and a pad to put under it to protect the table, and walked out to the dining room.

Pidge looked as bad as she usually did, but when Keith realized he'd made migas, his face lit up for a moment and things were almost ok. They didn't have any of the actual ingredients, but he'd tried to get as close as he could, and apparently it was close enough.

Something in his chest eased when Lance cracked a joke about Texas at Keith's expense and Pidge faked a smile at the joke and took an extra helping.

"It's quite spicy, isn't it?" Allura commented.

"I thought you'd _like_ spicy food," Lance said, leaning forward over the table toward her. Hunk braced himself. "Because you really _burn_ my heart up."

Allura glared, and Hunk got a sick feeling in the pit of his stomach until -

"Lance," Pidge admonished, "Would you quit it?"

The rest of breakfast was quiet, but it was a sad quiet instead of an empty one, and Hunk thought that might be better. A little bit.

* * *

Pidge flipped lazily through her security feeds, more out of habit than any expectation of finding anything. It had been too long, now. Shiro had been gone too long and she was feeling stuck, more than she had since before the Garrison.

She barely caught Hunk going into Black's hangar, because she was flipping between the feeds so fast.

She went back and turned the microphone on, but Hunk was just sitting there, silently, like he was listening for something, or maybe like he was feeling for something. Coran had suggested meditation to help with all their mixed-up feelings, but it wasn't working for her. Maybe it was working for Hunk. Or maybe he just didn't know what to say to Shiro any more than she did. At least he'd been brave enough to go sit where Shiro had vanished.

Finally, he spoke, voice coming clear and soft through the speakers. She turned the volume up a little, and wondered why she didn't feel so weird about it this time.

_"If you come back, I promise you, we will find the ingredients, and I will make you mac and cheese."_

Pidge's heart ached. Hunk had been trying so hard to help the rest of them, but he'd been hurting, too. She knew it, and she knew Keith and Lance knew it, and all of their attempts to help seemed to fall flat.

" _We really need you_."

They _did_ need him. Pidge would eat mac and cheese for a month, if they could just have him back, but she couldn't say that, either. Not to Hunk and not to Shiro and _certainly_ not inside Black.

Her own name startled her out of her thoughts. _"Pidge is falling apart. I think she feels like she’s losing her family again."_ Her ears suddenly started ringing, like the room was too quiet. He knew. But of _course_ he knew. They _all_ knew, and it didn't help them find Shiro. It didn't do anything but make her feel tight and squeezed and desperate, and she was pretty sure they were all distracting each other from the search because they were _all_ so desperate.

_"Last time she lost a brother she hacked into the government and went Mulan on it all. As cool as that was, I’d hate to see what she’s planning this time."_

She didn't _have_ a plan. She had 12 plans, and all of them were half-baked, and this time she couldn't find the calm to make a better plan, maybe because she didn't have anything to fight against. This wasn't the Garrison. It wasn't even the Galra. He'd just _vanished_.

Hunk was talking about Keith, now, and Lance, and both of them were trying, because _of course_ they were trying, but Pidge suddenly realized she _should_ have been the one with a plan. But she wasn't. She didn't have one. She didn't know how to _make_ one.

She hadn't thought about that, before. She'd thought about all the things she was doing, all the things she wanted to try, but she hadn't thought about a big plan. She didn't even know where to _start_ with a big plan.

_"I’m just really scared. I know, I know, action in spite of fear is bravery. That’s what you would say. And yeah, we keep doing stuff. We’re doing what we can, but Black won’t accept anyone else."_

Of course she wouldn't. Because Black liked plans, too. Black needed someone with a plan. And she didn't have one. And neither did the others. All they had was action. Bravery, maybe, if Hunk was right. But not a plan.

Pidge let her heart get caught up in desperation for one more moment, and then shoved it away. It was time to be what they needed her to be.

" _We need you._ _We can’t form Voltron without you. We’re not even working together very well right now."_

All of that was true, but all of it would be better, if she could just find Shiro. It _would_.

_"And don’t worry, don’t worry, we’re not fighting, but it really is like someone cut off our head. You’re our head, Shiro. We need you back. So please. Try to come home."_

Hunk left suddenly, so that Pidge almost missed his exit just like she'd already missed his entrance, but that didn't matter. She was moving on. She needed a plan. She glanced at the clock and decided to ignore it. She needed paper. And string. A clear wall. A space to think in.

If she could just think of a plan, maybe they could find Shiro. Maybe she could find the courage to talk to Shiro. Maybe she could face Black. Maybe she could face the others, without feeling like a distraction. Maybe she could get her head on straight, until Shiro was here to keep it that way for her.

Maybe.

* * *

"You were right, Lance. It _did_ help to talk to Shiro."

Keith stopped short in the hallway. Hunk had been talking to Shiro?"

"I mean, I know he's not there, but it _felt_ like he was there for a second, you know?"

"I don't know," Lance answered, shrugging, "It's dumb, but it helped to just be in there. To talk about it out loud. And maybe he can hear us."

Lance and Hunk were getting farther away, and Keith decided not to chase the conversation. Shiro would never have listened in to conversations, and Shiro had been a great leader. He needed to make him proud. He needed to do this leader thing right.

Keith straightened his back and started walking again, planning to pretend he hadn't heard anything if he passed the other two. Instead, he found Pidge walking fast in the opposite direction, with a look on her face he couldn't read.

He let her charge past him, but something didn't feel right. Shiro would go check on her. But Shiro would also know what to say to her, and Keith had no idea.

He bit his lip and followed her anyway.

She was practically running, but he wouldn't let himself speed up to follow her. Shiro wouldn't show up at her door panting and still half-confused. He'd be calm and patient and solid, like always. Keith walked at his normal speed, trying to keep his composure.

When he knocked on her door, she opened it to reveal a mess of paper scraps tacked up on two of the walls and what looked like a mile of string tangling up between them. Oh. It was like that. For a moment, he felt the pit in his stomach deepen a little, knowing Pidge felt the same way he did, the same way he had when Shiro went missing the first time.

"I, uh -" he said, rubbing awkwardly at the back of his neck, "I just wanted to check on you?"

Great. This was going really well. Hesitation was _definitely_ what he'd been going for. He was a _great_ leader. He forced himself to keep a straight face, so Pidge wouldn't think any of the disappointment or anger he always felt, right under the surface, was aimed at her. He could be mad at himself later.

Pidge said, "Oh," like she didn't know what else to say, and Keith didn't know whether to push her or pull back.

"So, what are you working on?" he asked tentatively.

It was Pidge's turn to run a hand through her hair. "A plan. I'm not sure for what yet. But we can't just keep hitting out blindly into the dark."

Keith almost winced.

"I mean I want to!" she said, like she could tell he was uncomfortable, "I want to just _do_ things, 'cause I want to just have him back, but - but I don't know how."

The words "me neither" were right at the edge of his tongue, but he couldn't say them. He was supposed to be the leader. He was supposed to _know_. He was supposed to be able to lead.

"I'm sure you'll figure it out!" he said, trying to put enough force behind the words to be encouraging.

Something shifted in her face, and he could tell he'd upset her. That had been wrong. It had sounded angry, or impatient, or too much. So now he had to fix it.

"I mean it, Pidge," he said, letting his voice go softer instead, "I have faith in you. Just - let me know if you need any help."

She nodded, and he nodded back, and then he had run out of the things he knew to do, and she was standing there silently like she didn't know what to do with this conversation either.

"Anyway, uh, good luck?" he said. "I'll, um. I'll see you later."

"Yeah."

He stepped back and walked away down the hallway, kicking himself. It seemed like everything he did was at least a little bit wrong, and it didn't feel like things were getting better. It felt like they were getting worse.

He just needed to fix it.

He didn't know how.

* * *

Pidge worked with the security footage of Black open beside her all the time, now. She knew - or at least assumed - that the lion couldn't see her, but it still felt good to be able to show the lion that she was making progress. Maybe. A little bit.

She'd run out of options that kept her from thinking about Black, and now she was down to _always_ thinking about Black. She'd found some old diagrams she was almost positive had something to do with the lions, and she was starting to make connections, just not connections she could make _mean_ anything.

Still, it was progress, of a sort, and it was proof that she could focus and plan and not be a disappointment to their missing leader or his very present lion.

She'd stopped feeling like she couldn't face Black. Now it was more like she just - hadn't, yet. She was sure she could come up with something, could find _something_ to take in with her. Some test to run. Some trick to try. _Something_ , if she could just make sense of these old blueprints.

It wasn't her time yet. But she was starting to feel like it might be, soon.

Keith's footsteps were so soft, barely audible through her speakers, that she didn't hear him go into the hangar. She didn't know he was there at all until he spoke.

" _This is really hard, Shiro."_ Pidge jumped, but she wasn't sure what was more startling, the fact that she hadn't realized Keith was there, or the fact that he was there at all. Keith had never been the most open of her friends, and she wasn't used to him admitting he was struggling.

" _I don’t know why you picked me."_ He didn't sound angry. Not really. Not like she would have expected. A shiver ran down her spine.

" _I’m just not ready for this."_ Pidge felt cold. She wasn't either. _None_ of them had been ready.

 _"I don’t know if I’ll ever be ready for this! I’m not you! No one is you! And you’re not here!"_ Keith's voice picked up speed as he went along, like he might be mad, the way she'd expected him to be from the start, but then he stopped himself with a sigh and Pidge couldn't help turning to look at him, through the camera.

" _Someone needs to try to lead, I just… I just don’t know why you picked me._ _I’m too, I don’t know, impulsive for this."_

Pidge reached a hand out toward her wall of stuff, just to steady herself. Keith wasn't the only one who'd been impulsive. He definitely wasn't the only one who'd _felt_ impulsive.

 _"You were so, so good at keeping your head most of the time. I mean, yeah, you’d lose it sometimes, but you’re human. What you’ve gone through and how well you’ve dealt with it is… well, you inspired me."_ Keith paused. " _No. You still inspire me. Because you’re alive_. _You have to be alive."_

Pidge turned back to her wall. Keith was right. He had to be right. Shiro _had_ to be alive. And she was _going_ to find him. But then -

 _"I feel like I’ve spent so much of my life trying to keep you safe."_ Keith's voice was softer, like it was a hard admission to make, and Pidge felt the hair rising on the back of her neck. This wasn't right anymore. This wasn't for her. She moved back toward the tablet, trying to get to the feed before she heard too much more.

_"If you’re dead, does that mean I’ve failed? And if I’ve failed you, how the hell am I supposed to do right by them?"_

Keith's voice was breaking, _actually breaking_ by the last question, and as Pidge turned the whole feed off, she found herself shaking. She shouldn't have heard that. She shouldn't have been listening. She couldn't let Keith feel that way, but she couldn't tell him she knew. He'd never forgive her for that. And maybe he shouldn't.

She could feel everything building up inside of her. It had been building for months, and now it was all coming to a head and she just wanted to scream. She wanted to cry.   She wanted to howl into the sky. She couldn't _do_ this. _Where was he?_

She couldn't believe that if he heard them he wouldn't be coming. Not anymore. She couldn't believe he wouldn't be back, if it were in his power. So it must not be. It _must_ not. She felt a sudden urge to fling the tablet across the room, but there was no point in breaking the whole tablet just to get rid of the video feeds she was suddenly sure she'd never watch again.

She could take the cameras down once she was sure Keith was gone. Take the cameras down and smash the one in the hangar, even though doing it was petty and small and counterproductive. She didn't care anymore. It didn't matter. Shiro wasn't coming back. Not on his own.

The same sudden destructive urge had her itching to rip her blueprints and charts and calculations off the wall, but that would be a waste of all this time and all this work, and she couldn't do that, not even with the feeling building that she couldn't contain anymore.

They weren't supposed to _be_ here. It wasn't supposed to be _like_ this.

She grabbed her armor instead, hoping a few bouts with a gladiator on the training deck would focus her again. She doubted it would get Keith's voice out of her head, but maybe having something to smash would help with the feelings that had come with listening. Maybe having something to smash would keep her from feeling so helpless, with Keith breaking apart and Hunk and Lance losing it and her still feeling lost. Maybe if she fought hard enough, she could forget for a moment.

Forgetting was the most impossible thing of all.

* * *

Lance leaned against Coran's station on the bridge, listening to him ramble about the last time he'd visited the star system they were flying through. Shiro's absence made the Castle feel surprisingly empty, given how quiet he'd usually been to begin with, and Lance was never sure whether hanging around Coran made it better because Coran filled the silence, or because he was pretty sure Coran felt the silence, too.

Either way, there was something comforting about being around someone else who was trying to pretend things were ok.

When Keith walked in, looking pale and shaken, Lance was glad he wasn't by himself. Keith looked like he'd seen a ghost, and Lance felt a shiver run down his spine at the sight of Keith looking so un-Keith.

"Whoa, what happened?" he asked, "Are you ok?"

"I - I think I heard Shiro." As soon as the words had left his mouth, something in Keith's face shifted, solidifying. "I _heard Shiro_!"

Lance's heart skipped a beat.

"Where?" Coran asked, "What do you mean you 'heard' him?"

"I was in the cockpit, Black's cockpit and he -"

Lance rushed forward, grabbing at Keith's hands like knowing he was solid was the same thing as knowing he was telling the truth. "He was there?" he asked.

Keith nodded, grabbing desperately back. "Yeah. Yeah, kind of. It's not - I couldn't see him. But I _heard_ him. He called me 'Red.' I think he was confused. But then I yelled at him, and he said my name."

Lance let go of Keith's hands and reached out to shove him, but Keith ducked backward out of the way. "What do you _mean_ you yelled at him?" he demanded, "Why the _heck_ would you _yell_ at him? We want him to come _back_!"

Keith glared. "Don't you think I _told_ him that? I'm not an _idiot_."

"How _exactly_ did you hear Shiro, Keith?" Coran interrupted, "Was it like hearing your lion, or was it like a voice?"

"I don't know. Neither. Both. But he's _there_ , Coran. I know it. I could _feel_ it. And Hunk's felt it too. We have to get the others." Keith started running, all of a sudden, like he couldn't stand still for another moment. "I'll find Pidge! You grab Hunk and meet us at the hangar."

Lance felt like he was rooted to the ground. Why hadn't _he_ felt anything? He'd been in Black's cockpit, too. It had been a while ago, sure, but it hadn't been _that_ long before Hunk did it, too. Had it?

"Lance, did you hear Keith?" Coran asked, "Go look for Hunk. I'll find the Princess."

Lance didn't need to look for Hunk. He knew where he'd be. He'd be where he usually was these days. He'd be in the kitchen. Feeling things Lance didn't get to feel. "Yeah, Coran. I'm on it."

He left the bridge at a run, but found his feet slowing down halfway to the kitchen. What if after all this time of missing Shiro, of hurting every time he thought about the fact that he was missing, Shiro didn't even want to see him? What if Shiro hadn't missed him?

But Shiro had missed Hunk. He must have, because who _wouldn't_ miss Hunk? So if nothing else, he should bring Hunk back to Shiro. He raised his chin and kept walking.

* * *

Pidge was glad that Green hadn't let her go to the training room. Her lion had called for her when she was halfway there, and just sitting in her seat in Green's cockpit had made her feel less like tearing things apart.

She hadn't felt Green calling her like that since the planet where she'd found her, but now that she was standing in front of Black's door with the machine Green had helped her put together, she understood why. It was her time, now.

Pidge had never felt the Black Lion before. Not like this. But she was on the other side of the door, and she was waiting, and Pidge had to stop and wipe the sweat off her palms.

"What's wrong?" Keith asked immediately, "Isn't the machine ready?"

She shook her head. "No, it is. It fits with all the stuff I'd put together from the lion schematics, and Green says it's ready. I just - I just need a minute."

Lance put a hand on her shoulder. "Yeah, I know the feeling."

Pidge closed her eyes, feeling Green trying to encourage her from her own hangar and Black looming in front of her, patient and invisible. "It's ok," she said. She let out a deep sigh, and then she felt ready. "I have a plan," she declared.

She opened the door to the hangar before the boys could answer, because she wasn't talking to them - she was talking to Black.

The lion was beautiful, even sprawled out with her limbs at broken angles like she was now. Pidge could feel her watching them, like she might raise her head at any moment. She gripped the machine in her hands a little tighter. She didn't even know what to call it, she'd built it so fast, but that was ok. Black would understand. Black would know.

Pidge walked across the hangar and into the cockpit without stopping. If she stopped, she would doubt herself again. If she stopped, the weight of facing Black would crush her.

She stopped at the entrance, staring at Shiro's empty chair. Part of her had expected to see him sitting there, just like she'd expected to see him last time. But he wasn't. The others had stayed back a few feet, giving her space, and she closed her eyes, trying to decide if she didn't feel alone because they were hovering outside the door, or because Shiro was here and her eyes just couldn't see him.

" _Shiro?"_ she called tentatively.

" _Green!"_ Her heart skipped a beat. The name wasn't hers, but the voice was Shiro. She was sure of it. A tension she'd been holding onto for weeks suddenly released, and she opened her eyes.

" _It's him_ ," she told the others, walking toward Shiro's seat until she was standing close enough to touch it.

Lance charged in through the doorway to join her, the others following behind him. " _Are you sure?"_  

She was, but it didn't hurt to double check. She looked down at the device in her hand, which was still only set to scan. It wasn't showing just the lion. It was showing something else, too. Shiro. " _Look at the readings,"_ she answered, _"It's definitely him. He's there."_

 _"Did you account for--"_ Hunk started, but she waved him off.

_"Of course I accounted for temporal diffusion, Hunk."_

_"Are you sure?"_ Keith asked. She waved him off, too. The others were just nervous. She'd been nervous. But now she was sure. Shiro was _here_. She couldn't believe she'd waited so long to come.

" _Shiro,"_ she asked,  _"Can you hear us?"_

" _Green_ , _I missed you. Are you okay?_ "

She wasn't sure whether she'd heard Shiro with her brain or her ears until Lance laughed. " _Yup. It's definitely him_."

Pidge took a deep breath. Yes. It was him. He loved them. He missed them. And now all she had to do was get him back. It felt like the easy part and the hard part, all at once. " _Shiro,"_ she told him, _"We're going to get you out of there._ "

Something pulled at her breath, and then Shiro asked, " _Does that mean I can come home?_ "

Keith made a choking noise behind her, and she felt her eyes starting to well up with a few tears of their own.

Keith was clearly shaken, but he answered for them anyway. " _Yeah. Please come home_."

Pidge wiped her eyes and then reached out for a hand, any hand. Lance grabbed back, then Hunk took Lance's other hand, and Keith took Hunk's. She squeezed the machine tightly, hoping it would work the way it was supposed to. Green had said it would. And it had to. It was the plan.

" _Okay,"_ she said, looking briefly down the line at the others as they stood in front of Shiro's chair before flipping the switch on the machine with her thumb. _"Starting it up. Everyone, focus_."

They'd reached out to each other with their minds before, when they were training to form Voltron, and they'd reached out to connect with and through their lions before, but they'd never done it like this.

As soon as she and the others started reaching out, it became even more undeniable. Shiro was _here_ , and as the machine in her hand shook and rattled, she could feel his presence getting stronger. She closed her eyes, and she felt the others do the same, focusing more strongly on the slippery, fragmented feeling of Shiro being there. They focused together, feeling for Shiro until they could sense the barrier between him and them. Until the barrier started to give out. Until -

Shiro fought for air with a loud, stuttering gasp, and a surge of relief ran through Pidge's whole body, followed by an equally strong wave of joy.

" _Shiro!"_ By the time she opened her eyes, Keith had let go of Hunk's hand and stepped forward, turning Shiro's face so that he could look at him. As soon as she saw Keith _actually touching Shiro_ , she knew she needed that, too, needed it with everything in her.

She wasn't sure whether she'd dropped Lance's hand or he'd dropped hers, but she heard the device she'd been holding smash when it hit the floor. That was ok, because she had Shiro's hand in hers, now, and it was real. He was _real_. She didn't need anything else.

Lance and Hunk both hugged Shiro at once, and Pidge didn't realize she was crying until she noticed that Lance was, too.

For a moment, everything was a tangle, their connection to each other still half open so that she could feel the others crying with her, could feel Shiro closing his eyes to let them in farther, basking in the feeling of being there with them.

"You're home," she whispered.

She wasn't sure whether the "I'm home" she got back had been said or if she'd just felt it, but either way it seemed to pull Shiro out of his reverie.

Suddenly, his hand was sliding up her arm, pulling her closer, and his other hand was reaching for Keith and it didn't matter that their connection was closing again, that they were becoming separate people again, because Shiro was _home_ , and he wanted them close to him, and there was no place in the universe she'd rather be right now.

Once they were separate again, themselves again, and not half-linked Paladins of Voltron, Shiro rose to his feet, making space for them to pile even closer to him. He only had two arms to hold them with, but as long as they all stayed close to each other, as long as they could hug each other when Shiro's hands moved on to pat someone else's shoulders, touch someone else's face, or run through somebody else's hair, they were ok.

Lance cried for the longest, burying his face in Shiro's left shoulder so that the rest of them had to move to his right side, where he could reach them.

Finally, Lance let go, wiping his eyes. "I'm s-sorry, Shiro," he said, "I'm sorry I couldn't bring you back, like Keith did."

"I'm sorry I yelled at you!" Keith blurted, voice half on top of Lance's.

Two arms was more than enough for Shiro to pull them both into a hug.

After a moment, Shiro let go, one of his hands sliding up around the back of Lance's neck. Shiro gently pressed their foreheads together, and Pidge felt a surge of jealousy. Lance had come to see Shiro, and she hadn't. Lance deserved to look Shiro in the eye, and she didn't.

"You were perfect, Lance," he said, "You showed up at just the right time, and you woke me up. I was too far away to even know I needed you, and then there you were, and I knew I had to come home. I _knew_ it."

"But I-"

"I'd never have made it home without you," Shiro said, almost whispering, "I would have been too far gone. But I'm not. I'm here."

Lance nodded, shakily, setting his chin so that he wouldn't cry again.

Shiro let go, moving to cup Keith's face in his hands instead. "And you! _And you_! I'm sorry I scared you. I just wanted you to know it was alright."

"Well yeah, I know that _now_." Keith's words were sarcastic, but his voice was soft. Shiro leaned in for another forehead touch, and Keith let him. "Just don't go away again, ok?" he asked, leaning back.

"Never," Shiro answered with a smile.

Pidge bit her lip, a sick feeling building in the pit of her stomach even as Shiro let go of Keith and turned toward both her and Hunk. His hands reached out, but only Hunk took one. Pidge took a step back, instead, and Shiro's smile shrank. He squeezed Hunk's hand before he let go of it, stepping forward until Pidge she knew she couldn't run away from this.

"Pidge, what's-"

His voice was soft, and confused, and not even a little bit angry, and she couldn't take it. She couldn't.

"I'm sorry I didn't come see you!" she blurted out, staring at her feet, "I wanted to, but I couldn't! I just - I couldn't. I thought about Black in here, all alone, and I couldn't do it."

Shiro moved faster than she could pick her head up. He pulled her in for a hug, one that was all her own, just for her. She wanted to cry again, to let go and sob into him like Lance had done, but she couldn't let herself. She didn't deserve that. He tightened the hug, wrapping himself as far around her as he could, and she felt a single sob rip its way out of her throat before she could stop it.

"Hey. Hey, Pidge, hey, it's ok." Shiro let go of her, but only long enough to sink down to one knee in front of her, tipping her chin up gently to look her in the eye. She couldn't breathe. He moved his hand up to cup her cheek, and she put her own hand over it even though she was pretty sure she was suffocating.

"You came for me when it counted," he said, his eyes looking steadily into hers, "You _came_ when I needed you. Just when I most needed to know you were ok, there you were. You _came for me_. You _got me out_." She took a shuddering breath in. She might not be dying.

Shiro leaned forward and kissed her on the forehead like her dad used to do, and then she could really breathe again. "You did good, Pidge. You _did_. It's _ok_." She started crying, relief washing over her until she couldn't hold it in anymore. Shiro pulled her closer and she buried her face in his shoulder, letting him stroke her hair while she cried into him. _It was ok_.

She didn't realize the others had joined them until she'd run out of tears, but she looked up to find all three of them touching Shiro's back. He twisted around, reaching an arm up to catch their hands. "You _all_ did good. I'm so glad you came for me. And now I'm here to stay. I _am_. I promise."

The boys collapsed forward, piling into another hug and Pidge moved out of the way, giving Shiro room to rotate farther and catch them. Everything felt ok again, and as Pidge found her way into the group hug on the floor, it started to feel more than ok.

They were still on the floor when Coran and Allura poked their heads into the cockpit. "Paladins, did you -" Allura began, before cutting herself off.

From the middle of the group hug, Shiro laughed, wild and free and beautiful, and beckoned Allura and Coran over to join them. They almost knocked the paladins over in their rush to join the group hug, but Shiro was still close enough to touch, and that was all that mattered. Stepping into Black's hangar might have been terrifying, but as long as Shiro was still in the cockpit, Pidge knew she could stay here forever.


End file.
